By Akin Adeoya
The Ezra Olubi scandal is a teachable moment in the history of the evolution of modern unconventional relationships.
Here is my take.
Ezra Olubi, co-founder and CTO of one of Africa’s foremost tech unicorns(Paystack) was recently suspended from Paystack over a viral scandal involving a trans atlantic sex scandal and alleged abuse of staff, animals and use of social media. To start with note that we are dealing with a truly aberrant personality, a guy who calls himself Ezra “God” Olubi and wears the cross pendant upside down. A man cannot escape his destiny no matter how brilliant.
However, my unapologetic position is that he is a victim of a conniving and manipulative shemale who knew what she wanted but never truly communicated it to Ezra. He walked into a trap with his eyes wide open. This is not to say he is not guilty of anything. He may well be. He is also clearly a very reckless fellow. However, this entire drama has become an issue because someone nursed a huge grudge against him and struck with unforgiving fury.
We are dealing with an eccentric genius in a society that is very conservative and very unforgiving of weird behaviour. Most of what he is being hanged for were written a decade ago. Those weird things he wrote suggested acts which are either impracticable or unproven. Who goes to twitter to announce that he has HIV and Hepatitis and would cure it with sex with a minor? If Max(The paramour)believed he had hepatitis would she take her body and her wife’s body to be taken by the same Ezra 10 years after the declaration? I can only believe it if I see a positive test result.
The nonsensical stuff he kept saying about cats are just that. He wasn’t the Olubi we know now, he was younger, probably desperate to trend and all that. But this is the nature of contemporary society, you shall be held accountable for your words. The only one I think needs to be investigated is his tweet about how HIV can be cured by sleeping with a minor. That crossed the line. But that is something that can be investigated by law enforcement without the current drama.
Max(Amaka). This is the ultimate femme fatale. She spent 10 years stalking him online and building trust. She worked hard on a relationship. She made herself appear simple, available and uncomplicated(with extra package in her wife too).
In all those years he rose astronomically and became fabulously rich. To him, he was dealing with a sophisticated online friend but to her she was feeding something, waiting for it to get large enough and juicy enough and trusting enough before she pounced on it. The fact that she was in a marriage with a lesbian partner was no barrier(Read desperado), she had plans to relocate to Nigeria(by her own admission) and needed someone to pay the bills.
She was very intenional. When she finally launched her first bite at the now very wealthy Ezra, she must have seen it as testing the waters. But Ezra saw it as an opportunity to be of help, to show kindness. She requested for a 55k dollars loan to support her siblings school fees. Probably a ruse. He gave her the money. Not long after this she lured him into this polyamorous thing where she and her wife were jumping into bed with Ezra. This is at the point where Ezra’s genius failed him exponentially. Nigerian girls don’t give sex for fun. Most of them do it for the money. If she is owing you 55k dollars, the only real chance of you getting that money back without a brutal shakedown is to stay out of her hot pants.
She brought in her wife into the affair(Polycule) and slid into a short period of living the life. We have seen pictures and all that. We don’t know everything that went on behind the scenes as all we have read is her account of how he routinely abuses his domestic staff and dating his staff at work. We have not heard any corroboration of that till now while we await the result if the internal enquiry being carried out by Paystack.
Ultimately, as it was bound to happen, Ezra got tired of it all. Imagine the competition for a 40million dollar worth tech wizard like that. 39 and single. In Lagos the cash for sex capital of the world. A guy who claims to be effeminate but not gay. Paints his nails and wears lipstick. Titilates all the gorgeous ladies, draws them into his web and gets whatever he wants with the right amount of cash.
When he got tired of Max and her madness, all he needed to have done is attach a payoff cheque to the letter and graiously forgiving the 55k debt. I think that should have assuaged the fighting Max. I cant imagine the pain of rejection for days after receiving that mail. And the reason is not simply because he was locking her out. That must have been pain enough though. But to then request for that money, which she(in her cash for money equation) already believes she has worked for, must have made the whole business unbearable for her.
Eventually she decides to make a public confession and hopefully, take him down. As for her, it is clear there is no falling. He that is down needs fear no fall. By her own admission her moral compass is none existent. All that mattered to her was a burning, feverish desire to strike at the heart of his reputation and take him down. And this, to an extent, she has achieved.
Key lessons for men
Men are created as natural born hunters. The idea of the female hunter (Like Max) is a modern day phenomenon. If you don’t have a tough constitution and no stomach for trouble, avoid them. They come to you always with an agenda. And that agenda is never for your welfare.
If you must end an affair with a woman be very magnanimous in your exit. Be graceful. Be generous. You can’t be worth billions and then you start dragging a lady you have been orgying with for some change. Let it go. This way, they are likely to watch you go in peace.
And if you must do a huge transaction with that woman on whose bosom you are always falling asleep, then ensure it’s a purely corporate arrangement(business to business with third parties involved) where you never end up as the owed(directly) or the debt collector.
What Should Ezra Olubi do now?
He must come out of his hole and tell his story. You cannot wish this reputational disaster away. And it won’t go away simply because you are keeping quiet. Issue a simple statement and affirm that you have not knowingly done anything wrong.
And if you have done something wrong, you might wish to apologise for that and ask the public for forgiveness. I can assure you they will be more magnanimous than Max.
Disavow those horrible tweets that are in circulation about cats and kids. Don’t deny. Just say they don’t express your reality. Explain them and if they are mere eccentricities, say so. Not everyone would believe you but some of us are more magnanimous than Max. We will listen. Let the unforgiving fry.
To keep quiet and say nothing is a bad idea. Too many wrong ideas getting wings. Nature abhors a vacuum. There are people who trust you, follow you and see you as a good person. Give them a reason to believe they were always right.
Saying nothing gives the impression that you already accepted your total guilt, giving the moral highground to the self confessed, “Disobedient woman”.
